I swear I have eaten a hamburger every day for a week. I am NOT bragging. The first burgers we cooked because we needed to TRY these burgers before serving them at the birthday party. The next were actually AT the party. The LAST were leftover from the party. Oh my! AND, we STILL have four or five burgers left in the fridge.

There are also hot dogs. This makes me smile because the other night I fixed beanie weenies for dinner!!! I'm not kidding! Hey, Brian loves those damn Grillin' Beans, and we had several left over, grilled hot dogs. SOOOOOO, when life hands you leftover hot dogs, make beanie weenies!!! We spent a lot of money on the party, and there was all this leftover food, and yet no leftover money. Let me PROMISE you the grocery store is HIGH on my priority list for this weekend. I cannot WAIT to have salad for dinner, and maybe some fruit for breakfast and more at lunch. I love hamburgers and potato chips, but I only need to eat them occasionally.

I am making an effort to be more productive and proactive. I am the world's worst procrastinator sometimes, so my goal is to stop procrastinating. I have done pretty good this week. Its usually things for ME that I procrastinate about. I'm not sure why this hesitation to just take control, but I am working to overcome that. I believe all these things are somehow related to the weight, and I believe solving that mystery may be the key to losing weight permanently.

Gettin' Back To It

Well, the party is now behind me. I had a great time, and I THINK the people who attended enjoyed it too. I hope so. I love to host parties and events, but I always worry if people had a good time. Did we have what they wanted to drink? Or eat? Or whatever else would ensure they enjoyed themselves? SO, I know my stress level the week before a party is absolutely elevated. Consequently, I have eaten very badly this week. I have probably had 4 hamburgers (maybe 5) this week AND, there are more in my future! By the way . . . ALWAYS RSVP to invitations. I have not been AS good about this as I could be, but I PROMISE you I will be an excellent RSVP-er in the future. It sucks for the host not to know who will show and who will NOT. For instance, I will be eating hot dogs and hamburgers all week because we didn't know exactly who would come Saturday and who would not.

Anyway. I will weigh in the morning--or maybe I will procrastinate until Tuesday! I know I will have gained. If the hamburgers don't get me, the salt-covered pretzels will. BUT, I really am back on track--you know . . . I'm going to start back on my diet TOMORROW! :-)) And, I shouldn't call it a diet. I should say I am returning to my healthier way of eating--like the skinny people do.

After a couple of weeks OFF my little program, I am REALLY looking forward to eating healthier. As I sit here now I feel bloated and gross. I have always eaten too much salt, but when I decided to change my evil ways, cutting back on salt was a priority. Today I have eaten several pretzels and some salty chips, and I am surprised just how nasty I feel. I also had to take a Prilosec yesterday. I almost never need them when I eat well. There definitely is a difference in how I feel when I eat junk versus good, healthy food.

Thanks for sticking with me. This is not a change that will happen overnight, but I can make little changes each day that will eventually take me to a much better(healthier) place.

I must admit I gained a pound this week. But, I have tried to eat salad or something salt-free and low in fat the night before weighing in, and I did not do that this week. I have not TOTALLY lost focus, but recently I have definitely NOT been as strict as I need to be.

To further complicate things, we are having a pool party Saturday and I have A LOT to do before the party. I mention this because this is a good example of a situation that brings me stress and PROBABLY makes me more likely to eat badly. I will "obsess" over this party until it is over--wanting every little detail to be perfect. I kinda want to be a little "Martha Stewart" when I have parties. (it would probably be more accurate to say REDNECK Martha Stewart) But, I have this list of things in my head--and on paper--that I want to get/do before Saturday. We'll see how this week goes.

I think a lot of overweight people are like me--maybe not the redneck Martha Stewart thing. They obsess over things, and rather than do something about the source of their stress, they eat their stress. I'm like Oprah now . . . I don't have stress. I ate the stress. I think it happens to a lot of people. I'm just not sure how many ever realize that's what's going on. Its quite a process to figure it out, but I still say if you are obese its not about your lifestyle or what YOU are eating. Its about what's eating YOU. Just my opinion--ought to be yours! LOL!

I only have a minute this morning--gotta get ready for work. I have eaten a few bad things in the last several days. Mostly I have eaten good, but there has been more bad in recent days than in many weeks. However, I am ready to get back on track. It is not realistic to think I will never eat anything "bad" again, but I certainly need to minimize the "treats". They really aren't treats for your body.

I also have to exercise. I know I don't like it, and I think I have built it up in my head to be much worse than it really is. So, that is something to overcome. If you exercise enough, you can eat almost anything you want. I certainly am not in that place yet.

Well, I must go get ready for work. Book club is tonight! The author is supposed to call in for our discussion!!! How great is that????

Where have I been????

Well, mostly I've been at the pool. I was off work last week, so I went to the pool as much as possible. Being off work is not good for my healthy diet. I must confess, I gained two pounds this week! Its true.

Some of the changes I have recently made, I have continued to do consistently. However, some things I have been more and more lax about. If I'm honest with myself, this is usually about the point where I would just quit. . . . give up the quest to lose the weight. But, that's what has gotten me where I am today. So, I must CHOOSE to get back on track.

I saw some of Oprah yesterday. Its taped in my DVR. I plan to sit and watch it all. The show was a follow up (2nd show) about a book titled Women, Food, & God. I think I want to read that book. I am a believer that being overweight is LESS about what you're eating, and MORE about what's eating you. I believe that I am a very happy person, and I know other overweight people who also seem very happy in their lives, yet we overeat. For some, I think its pressure you apply to yourself to be perfect, to do everything flawlessly. For others maybe its a lack of control. There are many, many reasons. I can promise you, for people who are VERY overweight, its not a matter of counting calories and walking around the block. Its a matter of solving that mental puzzle. Once you do that, I believe, the lifestyle changes will be much, much easier. Its still a long road, but if you don't figure out what drives you to eat, I do not believe you can have lasting success. Just my opinion. So, while I want to change my bad habits, I have to solve that puzzle. Women Food and God appeals to me because its not about a diet. Its about making that mental connection. I don't know if it will lead you or me to the answers, but it can't hurt to try. I must have that book! :-))

Funny how your vacation days just fly right by! I really didn't do anything productive yesterday. I made my bed. That's about the extent of it. Then I went to the pool about noon, and stayed until almost 9:00p.m. It was a good, hot day for it.

For whatever reason, my family seems to love to eat around the pool. We all do it. So, on my way to the pool I had to decide what I was going to eat--critically important. I didn't want fast food. I thought I might have Subway for dinner, so I didn't want it for lunch too. (I'm not Jared! If they gave me a great endorsement deal, I'd eat Subway 24/7. I can totally be bought--but I'm NOT cheap.) Anyway, I decided to go to Publix. I got a 1/2 sub--custom made for me with Boar's Head meat and cheese. It was SO good. It cost an arm and a leg--I may not be able to pay the house note, but it was really good! It wasn't that bad, but its hard to pay $6 for a 6" sub when you can get a 12" at Subway for $5. However, we eat a lot of Subway, so I need a change every now and then.

I am going to try a new recipe this weekend. I haven't decided what that's going to be yet, but I will keep you posted. I haven't even decided if its going to be healthy, or not. I feel like I make the same thing all the time, so I want to branch out. I have an obscene number of cookbooks, and yet I never make anything out of them. My new "thing" is to make one new recipe a week.

Well, I'm off for another vacation day. Not sure what I'm doing, but today I will get something accomplished. Have a great day!

Well, I am off work this week, and trying very hard to be productive. I did pretty good yesterday. Not sure what I will do today. I am definitely going to the pool this afternoon. Brian DID come home and run on the treadmill yesterday. Today he wants to go to the Y. I'm all about that, but I do have friends coming to the pool. SO, I will make SURE I exercise in the pool in case I don't make it to the Y. Believe me, you can get PLENTY of exercise in the pool. If you don't believe me start swimming laps, and see how long you last. You feel like you've been swimming for hours, and its been like 4 minutes! :-))

Have no idea what we are having for dinner. I'm on vacation! What difference does it make?! But, I need to figure out what we're having. Oh well. We'll figure out something. As I've said before, if all else fails go to Subway! Only problem is I'm planning to have Subway for lunch! I've also been looking at a lot of cookbooks, trying to find new recipes. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not. Sometimes I think it makes you hungry(reading all those recipes)!

Well, as much as I would like to procrastinate, I think I should get busy. I want to do SOMETHING productive before I veg out at the pool all afternoon! Have a great day!

**Week Eleven Weigh In**

Well, I stayed the same this week. I did not lose or gain, which is really a miracle. This having been 4th of July week, we spent a lot of time at the pool, and we ate pretty good--not pretty healthy, but not awful. Brian grilled chicken wings, and they were a huge hit. I took fresh veggies, we had salad, and I can't remember what else. Everything was good. I need to try some new recipes though. I saw a recipe for watermelon salsa. I'm thinking of trying something like that!

Ok, so Brian was running. He lost all kinds of weight, etc. When I started this healthier eating, and blogging, he QUIT!!!!!! WTF??!! So, today, he announced he is getting back on his running. Seems 2 of our nephews got on him in the pool yesterday, and he said he was all out of breath in just a couple of minutes(I didn't tell him he's just getting old). Sooooooo, now he's decided its time to re-dedicate himself to his running! This is good for me because he'll be wanting to go to the Y in the evenings, etc. Hopefully soon I will be putting up bigger weight losses! That's the plan anyway!